Six words...How do you respond...?

This morning I heard someone ask a somber and serious six word question of another. Even though the question was not directed at me, I was amazed at my initial response. The question brought an immediate reaction from my physical body and a sensation which can only be described as profound. I was touched... In the same moment my spiritual self was awoken in a manner which came from deep within and radiated to my extremities in concert with the physical reaction. It was all I could do to restrain myself and not shout out my response to the question, for everyone in the room to hear. Even as I tried to contain my outburst the answer rose to my lips and forced it's way out, although without the energy and volume that was reverberating in my skull. As I look back I am not sure why I felt the need for such restraint? None the less it was audible enough for those nearby to hear me. The sheer internal joy and exuberance at my reaction put a smile on my face, which in turn drew the attention of more than one other patron. The man nearest me did turn and give me a look before going back to his own interests, as my smile lingered.

The question was not spoken aloud, but in my headset as I was listening while working out. The question as I said was not directed at me, but hearing it in such an intimate way struck such a chord in me. The intense response was like the sound waves of a large Chinese gong being struck. The sensation lasting only a few seconds but undoubtedly striking me to the core of my being. Six words spoken solemnly, directly, without emotion, but with respect and regard, six simple words that can leave a person shaken or shaking. Six simple words without adjective, adverb or inflextion.

What was the question? Why did it leave me feeling the way I did? As I have been on this journey over the previous 5 months, I have striven to find my focus, mentally, spiritually and physically. As I near my 46th birthday, I realize that the journey has actually been on going my entire life. Each challenge an opportunity to prove myself to myself and to build my character by the decisions I make and the paths I choose to follow. Where am I truly headed now? is not the six word question that woke me up this morning.

"Do you believe in GOD, sir?" That was the question....

How do you respond? Not with a response about who or what God is to you, or how you think others expect you to respond, but the simple straightforward answer. No political correctness or socially acceptable soft shoe answer, dancing around the core of the issue. Just the plain truth, pure and simple...Do YOU believe in GOD? Is it an easy answer? Is it an answer filled with doubt, filled with qualifications and clarifications? Or, is it an answer rooted in your heart, filled with light and joy. How does this question make you feel? Uncomfortable, squeamish, unsure, filled with doubt, dread and fear of the future....or BOLD, CONFIDENT, JOYFUL filled with light, love and an open heart ready for the grace and mercy that is GOD.

My reaction was an awesome feeling, I felt the touch of GOD, a tingling sensation radiating from within me. Energizing me, filling me with inspiration. Spiraling out from my heart, a joyous, electrically charged sense of well being and lightness, flowing through my body to my fingertips and toes. I was more than half way through my workout, with a serious sweat on, my heart rate up and my muscles working hard. The feeling of happiness and love spread over my entire body, making me smile, making me say aloud, " YES! I BELIEVE IN GOD!" The thrill of having the question presented in such an unexpected way, out of the blue and without preamble. Causing a spontaneous response in me that did not allow for time to reflect or react. No one but me heard the question, no one but me and GOD. The joy of knowing that YES I DO BELIEVE. Just writing down the experience here causes a similar reaction, less intense by ten-fold, but still drawing me to the realization that I am truly on a walk with GOD and all that I do is for his glory. The sensation of being touched in such a way was both spiritual and physical. Unfortunately, trying to describe it in such a way as to pass on the spectacular level of complete well being that came over me is falling way short. Just as any relationship is profoundly personal between the individuals, finding yourself in a relationship with GOD is infinitely more personal.

I take extreme comfort from knowing that without a doubt I believe in GOD and all that entails. I also realize, that as a human I am full of flaws and will always fall short of the ideal. The beauty of knowing GOD is that even with all of my faults and failings, I am unconditionally loved, given gifts, talents and abilities, by grace and mercy, not by merit. I am approved without having to earn approval from my peers, parents, friends or anyone. I am a humble servant, here to help where I can, to make an impact for GOD and good at each opportunity without reservation. That I am charged with living well and building a testimony for GOD. That I am at peace with who I am becoming and the committment to not be the man I once was, striving to improve daily.
THANK YOU GOD!

That's what has been on my mind all day long, it's so nice to have a place to share - I look forward to the next time GOD puts in my mind words that need to be written. Until next time, Be Blessed and Be a Blessing...

Going to Extremes

As I head into the last 6 days of I'm down ten pounds and more importantly God is helping me find my clarity and focus. The determination and commitment to improving myself both physically and spiritually has brought about multiple layers of self awareness and new reserviors of strength to draw upon. Knowing that God is the source of all of my strength and the source of power for me to recharge is a huge advantage in conquering those challenges we are each faced with daily.

Currently, I am on a journey to A) Find my relationship and path with God, to make him my focus B) to lose 50 lbs from my starting weight of 245 lbs, by changing my eating habits and exercising at least 5 times a week. (initially my goal was to be accomplished by my birthday on June 9th which would have given me 5 months...now the time schedule has been moved up to Mother's Day, May 10th, 4 months!) C) to change my outward image and internal perspective on how I live my life daily.

Three worthy and worthwhile goals. Each requiring me to reflect upon myself and my actions, my decisions and continually take stock in where I am at and where I am headed. When combined as a trio these three create a foundation for me to build upon.

Now for the extreme! With only six days to go til Mother's Day I am eight pounds away from my goal weight. Yesterday, I decided it was time to make the sacrifice and commitment to make the final push and attain my goal of presenting my wife with a 50lb lighter husband for Mother's Day! Maybe not the most romantic gift, but one of extreme dedication and devotion to the one I love, the Mother of my children. As of midnight Saturday, I have only had water, juice and broth and plan on 3 days of serious fasting. *If you haven't read the disclaimer and warning in the previous post, please do so now! I know that God is making me better each day and giving me the energy and strength to make those choices which will help me to find my way.

Last week as I was working and praying for revenue streams to be created and sources of income to come into my life, I found myself confronted with an internal conflict I have been battling with for months now. The paradox of God & Self. If God is in my heart and I am working to build a strong relationship with God and Jesus as my focus, to become a humble servant and tool for building God's kingdom. If God is in me and Self is in me, then God = Self. Therefore, there can be NO "self-doubt", "self -sabotage", "negative self-image", because God is a loving, caring, compassionate God, provider, healer, teacher. With that realization, my breakthrough into the light and freedom of letting go of the negativity inside me was breath taking! Thank you God for allowing me on this journey to find my way into the light and become the man of God you knew I could be. No more negative "self" can live within me as GOD fills the darkness with light and hope.

As a new day dawns and the light comes into the world banishing the darkness, I will go forth and conquer the challenges in front of me with a smile and a cheerful heart, joyous in my walk with God and all the goodness He brings. The credit and glory is all for God, I am building a testimony for those who are also trying to find their way! Be blessed in all you do and remember that as we are blessed we are to be a blessing to others!

That's what's on my mind today, we'll see what the day brings and what impact I can make for good.

Find your stride...

Some days are just that way, you wake up with things to do people to see and a list of demands on your plate...BUT you just to don't feel like doing anything for anyone or even yourself. You just want to crawl back in bed, pull the covers up, keep the blinds drawn and sleep for awhile longer. Just a little longer, put off all that's out there and let the world wait.

NO WAY!!!! God did not give me this day to hide myself away. I hear the whisper of the promise of the new day, tickling my brain, urging me to get myself up. Attack the morning and find my stride for a glorious day of challenges and opportunities to face and overcome. This past Sunday was Easter. A day of rememberance and recognition for the love God showed mankind by giving his only son to take the burden of our sins upon himself for all of us. My pastor spoke to us about approval and the fact the God does not doubly judge our sins. Jesus has already been judged for all the sins we have committed, are committing and will commit. Therefore, we are already stamped with God's approval. If God has approved me already, I have no need to seek or gain approval from those around me. To spend my time doing things looking for others to give me credit or a pat on the back, seeking acceptance from bosses, co-workers, friends or family are actions that only re-enforce the fact that I have yet to accept that I am approved already! By heading down that path I will find the morning where staying in bed sounds like the best option...

THAT will NEVER be ME!!! I AM APPROVED!!!!! I believe in my heart that God has put his stamp of approval on me. With that belief comes the realization that I am only accountable to myself and GOD in all I do.

As the dawn breaks I hear the whisper of the sunrise, as the first rays crest the ridge of the Cascades and light begins to fill the day. As darkness retreats from the light, I get my workout clothes on, fill my water bottle, grab my towel and keys, then off to the club, banishing the calls of my pillow and warm bed. Ignoring the sleepy looks of a 100 pound puppy who is not ready to get up. Reaffirming myself that I am on the right track. God has shown me that I have self-discipline and self-motivation and the "self" is the power of God in my life. No one can take away your "self" unless you surrender it to them. No one can ever take away my "self" because I have already surrendered it,TO GOD. A paradox of sorts, I recognize, but I like to look at it more as a perpetual motion machine, feeding on itself, creating motion and maintaining momentum. Bringing me to places and insights that I could never have reached on my own.

Thank you God for your approval and stamp of love and caring on my life, for bringing me to places where I could not go alone, I accept the responsibility of your approval and will continually endeavour to be the example of your compassion, faith, hope and acceptance for others to see....

That's what I was thinking this morning...what comes next is anyones guess...get out of bed, face it head on and find your stride...who knows where the path will take you...

Thank you for taking the time to read this, be blessed and enjoy the day, the smile you give may be the smile you get from an unexpected person!

Happy GOOD Friday! and other thoughts...

Habits, routines, ruts, hamster wheels....whatever you choose to call your daily grind (mine used to be a white chocolate mocha, raspberry with whipped cream and a swirl of carmel syrup - another story for another time...).

STOP!!!! first I have to say that the words on the page are the thoughts from my mind which tend to meander and find tangets which have no connection to the original topic or the intended goal when I initially sit down. Any exercise regime or eating patterns that I discuss are not from a personal trainer nor a registered dietician. That being said, I must include this disclaimer - please consult your doctor, pastor, therapist, best friend or a stranger before trying to undertake any of my experiences....I say this as I feel it necessary to document where I have come from and how I got here. Here being today. So, If anyone feels inclined to read what I write and can find a small nugget of wisdom or a gem of faith that brightens their day, if just for a brief instant, the words will be on the page and not just locked away inside my head.

GOD is my focus and all I do is through his grace and mercy shined on my life. The credit is all His, I am but a tool, a humble servant trying to find my way in a world filled with distractions, deceptions and paths that lead to nowhere. I have heard it said that bad habits are hard to break, negative patterns lead to a downward spiral and misery loves company. Well I rebuke those statements! You cannot break any habit bad or good, BUT you can REPLACE any habit with a new one. By changing your mindset and taking a new perspective the same path you have been on looks different. If you open your eyes and lift your head you will notice the wonderful world around you that God had created for each of us to enjoy. Do not let the weight of the world bend your neck so that you can only see the step in front of you. Take off the blinders which inhibit you from looking in new directions. Opportunities are all around you, doors are there to be opened, switches are on the wall to turn on the lights to illuminate your surroundings and disperse the darkness that wants nothing more than to draw you in and feed you complacency.

I sit here right now, sweating...trying not to drip on the key board as I have just come from the gym. The end of my 9th week of monday through friday morning workouts! 45 days in a row without exception or excuse. Today I reached new personal records for distance and calories burned, 5.67 miles and 994 calories in 50 minutes of elipictal workout. When I started my first day I did 4.35 miles and 763 calories in the same amount of time. Small personal goals, attainable goals are necessary to help maintain a positive outlook. When I first started, just getting up at 6am every morning was the goal, let alone getting dressed, driving my car and getting all sweaty before 7:30am. I have lost nearly 35 lbs since January 17th when I weighed in at a hefty 245 lbs - but as I was told at the time "I carried it well". Hahaha - Only with my shirt ON did I even remotely hide it. Those were words of complacency meant to keep me on the same path to nowhere that I was heading.

I have a friend, a God connection friend who in January was doing a modified version of Daniel's fast. A 21 day fast, eating nothing but vegetables, fruits, nuts and drinking only water, juice and broth ( you can google "daniel's fast" and find all kinds of information ). He was on his 8th day when he told me about what he was doing and how he was feeling, how much weight he had lost. We were at our men's club breakfast the next Saturday and he was having sauteed bell peppers, mushrooms, onions on a plate...no eggs, no bacon, no chicken fried steak, no potatoes! I was amazed, he is a big man and a healthy eater, by healthy I mean he could pack it away. Seeing his discipline that morning on his 14th day the seed he had planted the previous Sunday, began to germinate in me. The following morning I woke up with the knowledge that I was going to undertake this challenge. Julie being the exceptional wife and support system she has always been gave me her knowing smile and said sure honey whatever you want to do. She has watched me eat and grow to the size I was (because I'm not that size anymore) over the past 25 plus years and has also been around for all the wild ideas that have come through me. I stepped out of the shower and onto the scale and saw the 245 come up, no surprise, I've been in the 240's for almost a decade now. Then off to church we went. I spoke with my friend Mark and told him I was IN, on board and gonna make the effort to committ to 21days. After my google search and a trip to Costco and Summit Trading company,$175 later we were home with a fridge full of veggies and berries, a counter full of fruit and a pantry with an assortment of nuts. The first week was a trial, no meat, no dairy, no bread, no sugar, no caffeine...I must admit I had already been weining myself off the daily pot of coffee generously hidden under a cloak of flavored creamer. But, in all actuality, a couple of bananas in the morning, a nice salad in the afternoon, a full plate of sauteed peppers, rice, cashews and spices wasn't so tough. The real tough part was stepping on the scale after 7 days and seeing that I had lost a total of ONE pound! Unreal, the fruits and rice were adding carbohydrates to my day that I wasn't burning off. I was doing 100 push-ups as a form of exercise, 3 sets of 33 within a 30 mintues time frame just wasnt enough to really make much difference, but it made me feel like I was doing something. With 14 days remaining I decided if I was gonna do this thing and do it right I was gonna go hard core. I went the next 3 days on a true fast, no food, only water, broth and juice...man did that spinach salad with the basalmic vinegarette dressing taste good on the 4th day! Skip to the 21st day and low and behold, I had lost 18 lbs (17 in the last 14 days - just wanted to save you the math, as I had already done it). I felt better, my size 38 pants were loose and I was punching new holes in my old belts! I felt good about my accomplishment and wanted to share it with those who asked. To my surprise along with the compliments and pats on the back, came comments of how long it would take to gain back the weight. Stories of others who had made the same efforts and then gained back even more than what they started it! WHAT?!! That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

God had shown me that I possessed the self-discipline, the power to choose my way and to create the person I wanted to be all inside of me. That just because I was hungry that did not mean that I had to eat. My body was just telling me that it was using the energy stored up in me, burning the fat to give me the push I needed. We become conditioned to eat at the first pangs of our stomach. We in the civilized, industrial countries have the abundance and ability to eat whenever the urge strikes. And by looking at America's waistline, the urges are often and rarely disregarded. There is a reason by McDonlad's sign now says "billions and billions served". Oops another tangent...God had shown me that my mind can create the reality that I live in. My choices to become better, to improve my physical self and transform the body that I had essentially neglected were nothing more than choices. Just as the choice to choose Jesus as my savior and guide, to allow God into my heart, into my life to make me better, were all choices that I alone had to make. The decision to undertake this fast and be accountable to only myself and God was only another small decision to keep my feet on the path of the Lord. To choose my steps to find my way to the destiny he has planned for me.

It started with a 21 day fast to determine my inner strength and has now become a foundation of the testimony that I am building to show the world the glory that is God, the wonder of having faith and hope, the joy of being in the love and light of such a generous God.

Just a few thought for the morning, who knows what the rest of the day will bring...Happy Good Friday all, be blessed in all you do...