Sunday, January 2, 2011

January 2, 2011...Just a few quick thoughts

It is funny to me that whenever I make decisions and choose a certain path or plan out an attack on an area of my life that needs improving, the moment the decision is made things start popping up that either emphasize my deficiencies or weaknesses and try to derail my motivation from the get go.

Yesterday, I spoke about patience and needing to take the time to be more patient, to slow down and take a deep breath. This goes with being more understanding of others and trying not to become overwhelmed by their needs or conversely intimidating them into succumbing to my wishes. I have been employed the past couple of days as a runner/pa for NBC getting the Sunday Night Football crew ready for the game tonight. My boss, who works directly with her boss who shares the trailer with the executive director of the network is very understandably picky about the way things are done and the appearance of things. In addition, she is the person everyone comes to that needs something (new light bulbs, nuts, bolts, etc.) these tasks then are delegated to each of her assistants (runners/pas). Today, I am not working for her, but for the broadcast itself, my call time is noon, but I just received a call from her asking when I would be in as she would like me to do a "few" things for her. I already have on my plate from yesterday to stop at Costco and renew their membership and I had to stop at a restaurant last night and pick up two orders of al dente spaghetti for her to serve today...I will be patient and understanding, I am here to help and today I will do my best to help as many people as I can.

Not knowing how the day ahead will go in terms of when I will be home tonight, it will probably be after midnight, I wanted to make sure I got in a little something today. Each of the small issues and challenges that get put in my way I will do my best to take a deep breath and hold to my resolve to be more patient and allow God to work in my life so that I can take the blessings that I am given and become a blessing to those with whom I come in contact today.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

January 1, 2011 - Here we go...are you ready for this?

This first day of 2011, I am going to try writing to myself about the day past or ahead depending upon the time I sit down to write. This year I am going to work on a number of issues that tend to be weaknesses in my personality or character. I hesitate to call them "resolutions", although I have "resolved" these things need to be addressed; (so let's call them items of focus and attention)
*take time to LISTEN - to God, Especially! also to those around me and whoever I am talking with, give them my attention and hear what they are saying.
*be PATIENT - make a conscious effort to slow down and take a deep breath, to not be in such a hurry, to not jump to conclusions and let scenarios play out before I
become upset about a potential problem which may or may not develop.
*FORGIVE - let things go as quick as they come, to not let small things or perceived personal affronts become a focus of my attention.
*READ - Spend time daily reading something in my bible and then find other things to read that also intrigue or entertain me.
*WRITE - Each day I will write for this entire year, If not for published blogging, story telling or inspirational thoughts, I will write about my day. The mundane and everyday detail, my thoughts and activities for the whole year, one day at a time, logged in a monthly heading, (beginning today with January 2011).
*FLOSS & Take my Vitamins - I will floss my teeth every single day of this year with out exception or excuse and I will take a multiple vitamin daily.

I also will make an effort to workout and get into better shape, physically, mentally and spiritually...although not done in bold or caps, exercise and eating better are going to be staples and a foundation for everything else. ( I WILL DO 90DAYS OF P90X!)

WARNING: The following is pretty mundane and just me writing about my thoughts and the day I had, feel free not to read further as I'm not sure I even meant to write this for public comsuption, but I'm gonna post it anyway!

As I sit here for the first time on 1-1-11 it is 8pm and I have had a long day working and look forward to another long day working tomorrow. Julie and I have just watched one of the shows we like on dvr "undercover" about two CIA agents who are husband and wife and have crazy missions and adventures all while maintaining a loving caring marriage. Champ needed a little attention and I threw his tennis ball upstairs 10 times or so until he got tired and decided to go back to chewing his bone at our feet. He is such a great dog, our big yellow dog!

Today I worked for NBC as a runner/production assistant for Diana Solomon getting ready for the Sunday night football game tomorrow that will be the NFC West Championship game. I spent most of today running around, searching for a telephone that would accept a headset and then picking up miscellaneous items like bolts, nuts, washers, halogen work lights, wd40 and lithium grease spray. As a runner you pretty much do whatever they ask of you. I gave a tour of QWest stadium to the runners who will be working tomorrow, showing them each of the production trucks and the general layout of the television compound, A unit - production, B unit - video/tape, C unit - graphics & sports media, the break room and the location of the pregame meal for tomorrow. Then I took them and Diana on a tour of the stadium, different routes to get to the field, the press box and the NBC booth located in the press box as well as the location of the on field set for "Football Night in America" the pregame show before the Sunday night football game. For the past two days I have worked with another runner/pa Austen Willis (RD Willis' daughter, a jr at WSU) to help Diana get everything she needs set up and prepared for game day.

I still have to pick up al dente spaghetti on my way home from Toscano's restaurant for Dick Ebersole's , the executive director of NBC, lunch tomorrow when he arrives on sight. Then before taking on the mantel of utility I will finish up my runner/pa duties on my way in by stopping by Costco and renewing the membership for Diana's account and the two other cards on the account. It never ceases to amaze me the things I am asked to do as a runner on these network shows. The fact that I am making essentially $10/hour or $100 for the day, makes me stop and wonder what I have done that I need to take this kind of work? It's not hard, but it does say something that this is the kind of work I find myself doing. (I will look into this further as the year goes on)
Chance came up to the stadium to help get the Rams locker room set up for tomorrow. It is always great to see him. He spent new year's eve at Justin's house and he is heading back there when he got done with the visit locker room. He said they still had half a keg to get finished before he and Justin headed back over to Ellensburg tomorrow. Doug Walker is going to let him miss the game tomorrow as the move to the NBC Sunday night game now makes it a 5:30p start and wouldn't get Chance on the road back to the burg until around midnight. I am so proud of my son and hope that he can get back to college and figure out what he is going to do as far as post-college or continuing his education. There are a couple of concerns I have about him right now, but feel as a 21 year old, he needs the space to be able to make his own decisions without his "Dad" leaning on him. I have faith in God and pray for him to find the path to his own success and not the path to success I think he should take.

Tomorrow I will be working for the engineering side of the game, moving from the production runner/pa position to the field utility working with the hand held camera on the sideline of the game.

It will be my first real test with a couple of my items of focus for 2011, patience and forgiveness. I found out today the assignments for tomorrow and I am currently scheduled to be the hand held camera utility with a name I did not recognize. The hand held camera is the one which literally runs up and down the sideline during the game getting the shots of the game, players and anything else the director asks of him. It is a pretty demanding position for a utility as it is my job to make sure my camera man can get wherever he wants to go. While I am sincerely thankful for the work, I now know that I am working with a young man who has never worked a football game before and probably doesn't know how to handle cable or understand the concept of "cornering" that will assist me in getting our camera man to wherever he wants to go. This is the exact reason I quit working NFL for nearly a year and a half, as I consistently had to be the "hip" on the hand held while training a green corner guy to assist me. Being put in a position where I have to pay attention to the camera man in front of me and where he wants to go and also be aware of whats happening behind me with someone who may or may not be there is a stressful spot. I've done it on numerous occasions and have never not gotten my cameraman where he wanted to go, but the amount of work it takes and the stress of training someone new in a venue like an NFC Championship game is three times the amount of pressure. Hence, I will be immersed in patience tomorrow as I endeavor to fulfill my duties, while teaching someone how to do their job, which directly effects me.

Forgiveness will be holding hands with my test of patience as I need to let go of my feelings of being let down by someone. As he suggested my name to the crewer, he also brought along two of his friends who lack the experience and knowledge to do the jobs they are going to find themselves doing tomorrow. His "kindness" to his buddies to get them work of this kind is putting me in a position where I am going to have to carry one of them all day up and down the sideline. I mean I will literally be dragging him behind my on the cable trying to give him the insight and advice that will help him do his job to help me do mine. As I write this I am praying for forgiveness and putting faith in God that all will be well tomorrow and I am envisioning a scenario that is worse that what will actually be. It will all work out I am sure, I just need to keep my focus on the things that matter and not get caught up in the "poor me" syndrome that takes me down paths I choose not to travel any longer.

As 9pm nears and my second Samuel Adams is also nearing its demise, I will draw this dissertation to a close and leave something for tomorrow. January 1, 2011 has come and gone, nearly as fast as the whole of 2010! Did I accomplish anything today? How about last year? I woke up at 245 lbs...what am I gonna do about that? For now I will pick up my bible, read some 2 Corinthians and then head to bed to snuggle with my wonderful wife. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, no sense in trying to bring tomorrow into today, as today is all that I have!

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

some more of the story...(this chapter is longer)

The rain was pouring down outside the restaurant, working this double shift was starting to drag on him, but the smile wouldn't leave his face. In the back of his mind as he cleared another table of dirty dishes and half eaten meals, he was envisioning being in the mountains. The heavy rain and cold temperatures outside meant that it was dumping snow in the higher elevations. The ski resorts weren't open yet, but Chad wasn't concerned about that. The crowds and novice skiers stayed to the groomed slopes and chairlift available hills at Crystal and that was just fine with him. He was part of a select few who ventured into the back country to find a little piece of the mountain all to themselves.

Dropping off his load of plates and silverware, he went through the motions of being the attentive waiter and service provider that he normally was, but really it was all he could do to stay through his shift. He knew it would look bad if he left early.

Chad enjoyed his job, the people he worked with and the customers who came into eat. The Ram was a casual place to work, the hours were good, the people were generally happy and easy to deal with and he had a natural talent for making those around him feel comfortable. This easy going and friendly attitude was reflected in the tips he received as he went from table to table making sure everyone was getting the food and service they deserved. He was popular with the staff because all of his tips went into a common tip jar that was split equally among those working. Being one of the youngest managers in the chain's local market had both its benefits and drawbacks, contributing to the tip jar created a bond with his staff. That was one of the reasons that Chad felt the desire to be on the floor, interacting with the customers and filling gaps to help out the wait staff and kitchen, to provide the quality of service his restaurant had become known. He was happy to pick up the slack and make the job easier for everyone, tending bar or clearing tables, taking orders or delivering the meals, it was all part of the same machine and Chad had the knack for making the machine run smoothly.

Try as he might, today was different. Tomorrow was the beginning of a week of vacation and Chad was going to spend it in the mountains. He loved the mountains. Any time of year, there was a beauty and serenity that made him feel close to nature and God. During one of his hikes this past summer, Chad had found an area in the back country just south of the Crystal Mountain ski resort that looked like it was going to be a spectacular spot for snowboarding once the snows came to the Cascades. Not too much of a hike, but once they closed highway 410, it was a little for difficult to gain access to the area. The rainy September, one of the wettest on record, nearly 11 inches of rain, had literally flowed into a damp and wet November. The weather in the northwest didn't always work to his advantage, but a cold front had moved in and it looked like mother nature was working in his favor to provide an excellent layer of fresh snow for him to carve up. He always tried to schedule his vacation time just before the busy holiday season began, he would be back two days before Thanksgiving. It was a way to recharge his batteries and gear up for the non-stop hustle of the Thanksgiving celebration that continued non-stop all the way through the new year.

Mount Rainier had been covered in a blanket of white for well over a month after a fairly dry summer. The areas showing the grey/blue rocks slowly became smaller and smaller patches as the mountain donned it's winter white coat. He kept a close eye on the pass reports and looked forward to the time when the department of transportation finally closed highway 410 just passed the ski resort turn off, outside of Greenwater. The DOT had done just that almost ten days ago as the treacherous winding two lane road became too dangerous for travelers, as it crested the Cascades and turned east as it dropped down into Yakima. So now, it was just a matter of his schedule to find the time to get away from the hustle and bustle and seek out the space of solitary quite that only the back country in winter could provide.
Coming out of his revere and back to the din of a busy dinner service, he shook his head, the smile remaining on his face as he collected the remains of another table. The conversations and general noise of the crowded restaurant lulling him into his routine. It was just a matter of a few more hours and he would be alone and free to commune with nature at it's most exquisite beauty.

The morning dawned cold and Chad rolled out of bed ready to hit the road. He already had his gear packed in his Yukon and couldn't wait to get on the road. The sun painting the eastern horizon with spectacular hues of orange, pink and purple lent an almost surreal quality to the morning sky. The beauty that God created all around him, never ceased to make Chad feel so thankful and grateful for being able to perceive and acknowledge the greatness of God. It was one of the reasons that he so much enjoyed being in the wilderness alone. He was able to almost feel the forest around him. The taste of the pine scented air, the crispness it created as it touched his exposed skin exhilarated him to push deeper into the woods of the Wenatchee/Snoqualmie National Forest land that he enjoyed exploring so much.

The hike ahead was going to be a bit arduous, but the payoff at the end was well worth the effort. After scouting about this past summer, Chad had come upon a ravine that looked to be a natural half-pipe. Almost as if a large ice cream scoop had been used to carve out a bowl in the side of the mountain. Trees lined the upper edges, but the lower bowl was clear and ran nearly a hundred feet at a gentle incline of about thirty degrees down the side of the hill. Located just over two miles in from the road closed juncture of 410, Chad knew he would be essentially alone in the south eastern corner of the Mt. Rainier national park. He would be beyond the boundaries of the Crystal Mountain ski resort where few if any of the back country cross country skiers would attempt to traverse.

The drive up through Buckley and Enumclaw was uneventful, a few patches of melting snow on the side of the road as he drove past the mud mountain dam and into the foothills toward Greenwater. Chad parked his truck off the side of the road in a turn out at the bottom of the hill at the base of Crystal Mountain drive. He figured the ski resort would be opening soon and he was only planning on spending a couple of days in the back country. His cold weather gear was fairly compact and provided an efficient means of protection from the elements once he was able to set his base camp.

Strapping his snowboard and backpack on, Chad stepped around the ROAD CLOSED barrier and started walking up the snow covered road. Taking deep breaths of the cold mountain air, filling his lungs with the freshness of a new day brought a joy to his heart and a lightness to his steps. At 23 years old, Chad was in excellent physical condition and the promise of the new fallen snow on the hill drove him to quicken his pace. Just being out in the snow covered forest made Chad happy to be alive. As he walked, he could pick out the tracks of small woodland animals who had been out foraging during the night. Rounding a bend in the road, a sight that few ever got to see delighted him. The dark brown and tan furry hide could just barely be seen. It blended with the shadows of the dark tree trunks and the moss clinging to the branches. It moved without making a sound as its feet broke through the crust of the frozen top layer of snow. Chad stood still not wanting to spook the majestic creature, he had only heard tales of animals this big that roamed the national parks in this area. He had seen signs of them during his hikes in the spring and fall, but he had yet to witness one up close and personal. Its back was nearly at his eye level, the enormous head was well over seven feet off the ground. As it moved among the trees the majesty and confidence it exuded was almost palpable.

Chad realized he was holding his breath. He had stopped in his tracks not wanting to spook the animal as he took in its splendor. The sunlight played tricks with his eyes as he tried to determine just how big it actually was. His perspective was skewed as he was on the hard surface of the road and beast was standing nearly knee deep in the snow some thirty to forty yards ahead of him amongst the Douglas firs. The stories of this kind of animal played through Chad's mind. Not one even came close to describing the beauty and raw power of seeing anything in the wild in person. This was why he so looked forward to these solitary excursions. Finally, the winds changed and Chad was given away by his scent on the breeze. The massive elk raised his head, the more than twelve point rack upon its brow swinging as it turned its head to look directly at him. Chad could almost feel that gaze, the intense stare of an animal that was not afraid. The flare of its nostrils taking in his scent, the expansion of its chest as the lungs filled and the elk stood taller and even more majestic. Chad felt as if he was being measured. The unwavering gaze of the creature held him transfixed into place. He could feel his heart rate speed up and his pulse quicken in his throat. This was an encounter with one of nature's most honorable creations. Chad blinked his eyes as he took a deep breath and just like that the elk was gone. No sound, no flurry of snow, just gone.

A quick prayer of thanks to God for the fantastic opportunity to view and interact with such a wonderful creature, brought out of his near trance and back to enjoying the world around him. He had been walking for almost two hours and it was nearing midday. The area he was looking for had to be around here somewhere near. His first order of business was to establish his base camp, get his tent set up and get the rest of his gear stored. Chad had everything he needed for a couple of days in the back country and he knew he would be tired after a long hike followed by the exertion of blazing his own trail on his snowboard in the fresh powder. Therefore, he was most anxious to get the tedious necessity of getting his camp set.

Chad spotted the rock outcrop on the the uphill east side of the road that he had designated his landmark when he had first scouted this area. There was a clearing in the woods just a few hundred yards due west of the road that would make for a perfect spot to set camp. The surrounding forest and slight dip in the topography made for a natural shelter from the wind and provided him an area where the build up of drifting snow would not be an issue. Chad had thrown up his tent so many times it only took him a few minutes to unload his burden of backpack and snowboard and stow the remaining items inside out of the weather.

Kicking out of his hiking boots and into his snowboard boots, Chad grabbed his board and went in search of his shredding ground. The anticipation of seeing the ravine filled with snow waiting for his arrival was almost too much to bear. The clear sky overhead meant a great afternoon of snowboarding but also that if conditions remained the same, it would get very cold. Treking through the old growth forest Chad felt his insignificance, the true smallness of one human being, compared with the vastness of all that surrounded him. As always, he felt like an intruder into the sanctity of a pristine forest. Thanking God for allowing him such a wonderful opportunity to be part of such beauty, Chad vowed to make himself appreciate all that he had been given.

Cresting a small hill, he knew he was close to the ravine he had come upon in the summer. Sure enough, the trees parted and there before him was the sight he had envisioned during the warmth of late August. The ravine had indeed filled with snow. The resulting half pipe flowed down and away from him beckoning to him. Here at the top, he was almost mid-thigh in powder and he wondered how deep the lower bowl was going to be.

It didn't take him long to find out. Cinching his bindings to his boots and dropping into the bowl with abandon, Chad felt at one with the mountain. His freshly waxed board gliding over the snow, the powder billowing up in his face nearly blinded him. The sharp edges of his board carving into the snow as he leaned from heel side to toe side, looking for the edge of the ravine as he headed up the inclined side of the half pipe. Gaining speed and launching himself skyward, a frontside 360 with a tail grab on the way down made him shout out loud. The sound of his voice startling even himself in the near silence of the forest. The unrestrained joy he was feeling, the almost overwhelming freedom of he experienced at these times brought tears to his eyes. Then he thought, maybe it was just the cold stinging wind on his face that brought the tears, but either way he was as happy as he could ever remember being.

Coming off the far side of the bowl, Chad noticed a small depression in the snow at the bottom of the ravine, directly in front of him. It wasn't a large hole, just a small variance from the accumulation of snow around it. He wasn't even sure why it caused him any concern, but for some reason his eyes were drawn to it. Before he could correct his course and swerve around the dip, the front of his board disappeared into the snow. All at once a feeling of weightlessness enveloped him. It felt as if he was falling, falling a long way down. He became disoriented as he tumbled through the hole, flipping end over end. His mind tried to process what was happening, the fall seemed to be taking forever. Finally, with a jolt of pain and the wind being forced out of his lungs Chad landed on his back, his board next to him in the snow.

At first he thought maybe he had fallen over a waterfall, but the light was not right. His vision slowly cleared as he raised himself up on an elbow to survey where he had landed. The light he noticed was all around him with just a small circle of blue directly above him. The blurry vision made it hard to determine distance as his depth perception was off, but it seemed the blue spot was way above him. Chad shook his head to try and clear the cobwebs a little. He rubbed his eyes and realized he still had his goggles on. Removing his eye protection he was astonished to see that he had fallen into a cave of some sort. The blue spot was actually the sky some thirty feet over his head and the hole he had inadvertently fallen through. Rolling over on his side, the jolt of pain was like and electric shock up his left leg and through his back. It was then that he noticed he was still strapped into the snowboard by his binding and his left foot was at a totally bizarre angle. It was like viewing something on tv, it didn't even look real the way his foot was turned around. If it wasn't broken, his ankle was seriously messed up. Amazingly, he didn't really feel the kind of pain one would expect from an injure that looked as severe as this one appeared to be.

The light filtering into the cave showed through one wall that looked like a curtain of ice. Behind him, the cave traveled back into darkness. It didn't look like any readily available route of escape from the cave was accessible. Using his snowboard as a lever, Chad was able to get himself into a more or less sitting position. From here he began to take stock of his situation. A few deep breaths made him realize that he had probably broken a couple of ribs. Once he had removed his boot from the binding and got his foot pointing in the proper direction, the pain in his ankle had subsided substantially and he decided that it was most likely not broken but sprained for certain. Out of the corner of his eye, Chad thought that he saw movement in the darkness of the tunnel. Fearing that he may have awoken some hibernating black bear, he tried to stand.

The wave of nausea and light headedness that nearly made him pass out, indicated that he probably had a concussion. Holding onto consciousness by sheer will power he brought himself upright so as to present a larger image. Using his peripheral vision, without turning his head he tried to locate the source of the movement. Not wanting to create a direct confrontation by making eye contact, he slowly moved toward the wall of ice in search of a way out.

Movement again caught his attention and he could feel a presence in the cave with him. The uneven floor made it hard to move with his impaired ankle, the snowboard providing him with a crutch to lean some weight upon. As he neared the light of the wall a cold draft brought with it an odor that renewed his nausea. The stench churned his stomach and made him reflexively grab for his nose. The sudden movement caused him to overbalance on his good leg and sent him sprawling to the floor. Just before his head hit the ground and darkness overtook him, the shadows took life and stepped forward. As his eyes involuntarily closed, he was sure that he saw a huge man standing there looking down at him with sympathetic eyes. He fought to remain awake, but the strain became just too much. He felt emotionally tired as well as physically drained. Incredibly though, the fear he thought he should be feeling at being trapped with a big black bear about to be eaten wasn't present at all. The comforting blackness of dreamless sleep enveloped him as he slipped from the conscious world.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving eve...remembering to be thankful!

Thanksgiving eve...
Watching the news and the weather reports Sunday made me stop and think about all of the things I need to constantly remind myself that I am thankful for, each of the blessings in my life that only through the loving mercy of God am I able to obtain. A roof over my head, warm clothes to wear, a refrigerator full of food waiting to be prepared for a Thanksgiving feast, shared with family and friends. A day of shopping and picking up the last things on the grocery list brought home to me how incredibly blessed I truly am. So, with God in my heart I decided to forgo food until Thanksgiving day. It has been since 7pm on Sunday that my wife and I shared dinner together, nearly 67 hours ago.

As we sat together in the warmth of our home, the fireplace on and a happy dog at our feet, it dawned on me what a wonderful wife I have and how much love we share. Blessings come in all sizes and shapes. I am so thankful for my two great kids, both in college and maturing into outstanding young adults. This Thanksgiving we are hosting at our house. We will be serving dinner for close to 30 people and this doesn't include the 20 or so from my side of the family! To have a home that will accommodate that many people comfortably (maybe) is truly a blessing. We sat and discussed the up coming plans for getting everything ready when the lights flickered and we were without power. Thankfully, it lasted just about an hour and we were back to normal.

It was as we were sitting next to the fire that I thought it would be a good idea for me to spend a few days fasting leading into the Thanksgiving festivities. It is so easy to become complacent in our daily lives. Family, friends, food and so much we take for granted. Sacrificing food for a few days has helped me to appreciate and remember that there are so many people today who have so much less than I do. People that will go hungry today, not by choice but by circumstance. Even without the luxury of a full fridge to forage in, I have the blessing of a fridge! I have the warmth of a nice home, filled with love and caring. We each have our individual destinies, our roles to play in life and the paths we choose to follow. It is how we choose to live our lives that show the character of our being. Taking a step back on occasion to view our life from a perspective outside of the daily grind may surprise you when you realize all that you do have.

God is truly awesome in so many ways. The blessings are all around you, be thankful!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

a dark lonely road...(just more fiction)

The night was dark, no stars in the sky and the thick cloud cover held the moon at bay. This was the kind of night that one didn't want to be out driving out here on the peninsula. The old growth forest draped over the roadway and blotted out any signs of civilization. Of course, out here civilization was a relative term. One lane, desolate roads wound around and through the protected forest. In the daytime the giant trees were something to marvel at, but on a night like this it felt like the moss covered behemoths were actually leaning toward the road ready to snatch the unsuspecting passerby in their mighty branches. The wind giving life to the huge limbs of the giant western hemlocks and Douglas firs lending another layer to the illusion of movement to these sentinels of the rain forest. She really disliked these late night drives through the dense woods at this time of year and she wasn't sure why she was out here in the first place. She kept on driving.

The northwest part of Washington state in the shadow of the Olympic mountain range cradled a unique environment which collected the moisture laden storms coming in off the Pacific ocean and funneled them inland. The result was an area which is drenched in over twelve feet of rain per year. This temperate rain forest of the Olympic National park was designated in 1988 as a wilderness area, part of the national wilderness preservation system. She marveled as she continued along highway 101 out of Port Angeles that the darkness seemed to swallow her headlights. It was well after midnight and the twisting winding road that took her passed Crescent Lake seemed almost alien. A few solitary lights on in a few homes on the lake brought her a little solace. As she glanced to the left at the lake it looked as if a wave was pushing across the water, coming toward the road. At this time of night no boats were out and the shores where rocky along this side of the lake. No one who knew this lake would be driving their boat at night without any running lights directly at the road in any rate. She slowed her car to see if she could get a better look. The wind was surely rippling the surface, but there was definitely something in the water and it was coming right to the cove below the road where she was now. Braking to a stop, she leaned over to the passenger side of the car and rolled down the window to get a better view and maybe hear something. What she heard made the hairs on the back of her neck raise and sent a chill down her spine.

Heavy breathing, almost panting as the water pushed forward toward the shore. Other than the deep intake of breath and the harsh exhale, the swimmer made hardly a sound in the water. She fumbled around the in the glove box looking for a flashlight that wasn't there. Quickly reaching under the seat in search of the light came up empty too. By the sound in the water whatever it was, was getting closer. Water began breaking on the rocky bulkhead supporting the shoulder of the road where her car was parked. Her heart racing, her pulse quickening she scanned the water for the source of the wave and noise. The wind gusted and the branches of the trees danced between her and the water. Then suddenly, the huff of breathing was no longer to be heard. Had she imagined it? Was the fact that she had been up all day driving with no apparent destination in mind causing her mind to manufacture something that wasn't there? Maybe it was just a large elk cutting across the lake rather than walking all the way around? She couldn't be sure, the night was dark, the moon was trying to break through, but she had only seen the wake in front of whatever had been late night swimming. She had felt compelled to pull over, unsure why it was just another question in a long string of many that had manifested in her life today.

Ever since she had been roused out of bed this morning at 4:30am by the blaring of her alarm clock, things had been a little off. She didn't remember setting the alarm and she had apparently went to sleep still in the jeans and t-shirt she had worn the day before. A little strange, considering yesterday was a Wednesday and she should have been dressed more appropriate for work. But upon arising she had felt compelled to put on her shoes and coat and drive. So far, she had driven almost 600 miles, stopping only for gas and food. Now nearly 20 hours later still driving and wearing the same clothes she found herself parked on the side of a deserted road, next to a lake looking at what? Her mind was not cooperating with her, she just felt the need to drive, but the distraction of the water had drawn her out of her compulsion. The cold wind continued to blow and helped her gain a little sense of normalcy. What was she doing? Why was she sitting here? This was like a scene in one of those horror movies that the audience keeps yelling at the heroine to get the car moving. Chuckling to herself, she began to roll up the window.

The odor that blew in was putrid and smelled of rotting meat and wet dog. It almost gagged her to the point of vomiting. Her eyes blurred as tears welled from the overwhelming noxious vapor. Without finishing to roll up the window, she turned to put the car in drive. As the gear shift in her hand nearly engaged, she looked again toward the water and nearly lost consciousness. The reflection in the glass was so unexpected and so utterly otherwordly that she could hardly breath. The lack of ambient light made any actual description almost impossible. A huge mouth, what looked like a nose and heavily lidded eyes looked in at her. Her mind reeled as the grotesque visage leaned near the window to peer in at her. The penetrating gaze locked with her eyes and she wasn't able to look away. The fear welled up in her chest. Her lungs full of air that she was unable to dispel and a light headedness that threatened drop her into unconsciousness combined to essentially paralyze her.

It was then that a feeling of well being stole over her. Where once overwhelming fear and revulsion reigned, now a sense of peace and serenity washed over her. Still locked in the stare down of unreality, the presence on the other side of the glass took on a somber countenance. The eyes were not full of menace as she had originally feared, but sadness. It was a sadness for her, she could almost feel the empathy the creature had for her. It put a huge hand on the glass and she felt the car gently rock. She wasn't sure how or why she knew, but she knew that there was no harm to come. Everything was going to be all right. The feeling of oneness with the thing outside seemed to be natural. This was a being whose nature was good, whose purpose was helpful and had enormous power, both physically and mentally. She could feel in her soul that she had been called to this encounter. She had been driving to this very spot all day long without ever realizing it.

Another gust of wind whipped the branches in the trees around them, she heard a loud crack as one of the great trees dropped a branch. Involuntarily, she turned her head at the sound of the breaking limb and when she turned back the creature was gone. The moon found a hole in the racing clouds and illuminated the space around her car. There was nothing to be seen, she was all alone. Had she imagined that disembodied face? What was it anyway and why had it come to her out of the darkness?

Remnants of the emotional rollercoaster she had ridden all day long left her feeling drained. Trying to hold onto the feeling of sanctuary and goodness that had washed over her after her initial shock, she slumped back against the headrest and put her shaking hand on the steering wheel. The headlights of her car lighting the fir trees in front of her provided little in the way of insight. Again she began to question what was happening to her and why? The one redeeming fact being that she knew she was going to be all right. Her eyes closed as sleep overtook her and a deep sense of well being filled her with joy. Her dreams were filled with fantastic sense of serenity and happiness. The rain forest around her alive and full of life and her being a part of it all. The emptiness and sadness inside that she had been running from replaced by a fullness of love and light.

She was awoken by the sound of tapping on the glass window. Struggling to regain consciousness, she shook her head, trying to remember where she was. The stiffness in her body making her groan as she opened her eyes. Her stomach growled in hunger. Outside the car, a Clallam county sheriff stood looking down at her.

"You alright ma'am" the sheriff inquired. "Would you mind rolling down the window?"

"Uh, sure, no problem," she stammered as she pushed the button the lower the window. "I'm fine, just a little stiff from sleeping sitting up, that's all."

"Have you been drinking?" the officer asked, as he leaned down to take a look inside the car.

"No, no I haven't, it was just a long day yesterday and I pulled over and just fell asleep, is there a problem?" she hesitantly replied.

" Can I see your license and registration please?" he said in a tone that made it more of a statement than a question.

Digging through her purse in the passenger seat she found her license and flipping down the visor she took out the registration and handed them both the to officer. It was then that she looked out the passenger side of the car and saw the partially rolled up window and what looked to be a giant hand print there.

"You're a long way from home miss," the sheriff looked down at her, "what brings you all the way out here?"

"Truthfully officer, I'm not sure, this is just where I ended up, I don't have a good reason for being here other than I just am. Wednesday I was at work, then yesterday I woke up and felt like I needed to drive and now today here I am."

"Let me get this straight, Wednesday you were at work, yesterday you woke up and felt like driving and this morning I find you on the side of the highway asleep in your car, is that what you just said?" he said with a look of confusion on his face.

"Yes sir," she replied with a hint of trepidation. Why did he seem confused?

"Ma'am, you think today is Friday then?" the sheriff asked.

"Well that's what day it is, yesterday was Thursday, I drove around for awhile and then I ended up here with you waking me up just now, Friday, so it's Friday morning."

"Is there someone you can call, I think we need to have a talk at the station. Today is Monday."

Friday, November 19, 2010

To some it's just a job...

The glass doors reflected the afternoon clouds, a hint of the setting sun painting the glass with a tint of purple and gold. How appropriate I thought as I walked into the foyer. The relative quiet of the outside instantly transformed into a symphony of noises and odors which made my heart leap. I smile at the lady sitting at the door taking tickets as I take a deep breath of the potluck of smells that are assualting my sinuses. Popcorn being popped, pretzels warming under a heat lamp, hot dogs being readied for the crowd to come, mixed with the slightly dusty, slighty musty and certainly pungent smell of sweat transports me back to at time when I was one of those who created part of the mixture.

A couple more steps and another doorway becomes a portal to another world. The yellowish light of the overhead flourescent lighting give a golden glow to the hardwood floor. The squeek of rubber on varish, the hard breathing of athletes in action, game faces on both coaches and players. Tonight there will be a game. The rhythm of the leather basketball pounding out a beat, the pop of a crisp pass hitting a player in stride as he launches himself toward the hoop is a sight that brings joy to soul.

This is just the pregame warmup, young men still in the warmups getting loose for real action to begin. Such a pure sense of competition. All the game plans and work done in practice is about to be put to the test against a group of invaders who think they can come into our house and leave with a win. Fans, students, parents, grandparents, friends, brothers and sisters start filing in to get the best available seat to view the contest about to unfold. The smile on my face is stuck there. This is one of my favorite places to in the world to be. My seat is saved for me and it's the best seat in the house, a blessing for certain.

Unburdening my load on the table at half court, I begin to assemble the tools which will help be to become a part of the whole tapestry. Cables, cords and an assortment of connections allow me the ability to be more than just a cheering fan, but transform me into a conduit of public information. Tonight, as every night, it will be about the game and the young men striving to elevate their abilities, to overcome a foe and represent their school. When the clock hits 0:00 it will be about the score, someone will be victorious and others will be left wanting. Until that time, it is all about effort, competition, hustle, sweat and heart. The athletes on a high school floor are not being paid, they are not getting the adoration of the media, many may not even see any gametime tonight, but without exception they are all there because they love the game. In that I share a bond with each and every player, coach and die hard fan, I too am here because I love the game.

God has taken me on a crazy path of twists and turns, switchbacks and detours. Through it all , I have gained a sense of confidence to speak in public, to have my words conveyed and amplified so that many can hear my message. Thankfully, my message is to help decipher the action on the floor. The athletes do all the work, the referees and coaches strive to maintain order and discpline, I am just a cog in the machine, one color on the pallet creating the big picture. My goal is to bring an added level of entertainment to the event, to portray the action on the floor in a positive way, to lift up the athletes and make the evening a little more enjoyable for those in attendance.

I am the public address announcer. I get to sit at the scorers table, with the official score book, the scoreboard operator and shot clock operator, each of whom are actual officials of the game. My position in contrast is the only "unofficial" position at the table. The onus on me is to relate the game to the crowd, to let everyone know who scored, who fouled, who called time out and who is on the floor. If the whole evening were a stew, I would be just a single spice added to the mix. The stew would be fine without me and the meal would be certainly nutritious and filling, my intention each night is to make that stew just taste a little better. If I do my job well I can bring a smile to those who are in attendance and win or lose make everyone feel positive about the outcome.

It is easy for anyone to get on the microphone and talk. It can be intimidating, but it's not hard to do. The trick is finding the right words to say. Once words are spoken you can't get them back, kinda like trying to put toothpaste back into the tube. After getting comfortable with your words being broadcast, finding the proper flow and timing to interject into the game is a key component. Having a knowledge of the game on the floor and a feel for the natural rhythm of the game are additional qualities that add to ones confidence level. The final piece of the puzzle and maybe the hardest element to bring to the table is personality. As I stated, it is easy to get on the mic and talk, its more difficult to do it well and a whole other dimension to bring a level of professionalism to the microphone that raises the evening. To some it is just a job. I want to change the night from just another pot of stew to something at leaves you wondering what changed in the recipe that made it so good tonight. The bottom line is that the game is about the young men and the celebration of competition, creating memories for a lifetime.

I thank God for the abilities and gifts He has bestowed and blessed upon me. To be able to be part of so many fantastic games and bring a level of passion and enthusiasm to the contests is assuredly a gift from God. The smile on my face is genuine. Thank you for saving my seat, "I'm Nic Beckman...Play Fair, Play Hard, Have Fun...Let's Play Basketball!"

Thursday, November 18, 2010

watch out for the yellow car...

Fingers tapping out a tune on the steering wheel waiting for the light to change. Country music coming from the speakers singing songs with words I can understand. I'm the third car back as the colors go from red to green the line of cars ahead of us isn't moving but the two cars in from of me pull forward. Cars sitting in each of the lanes facing into the intersection, just another normal occurrence with the growing gridlock of traffic. Debating whether to pull out and sit in the middle, even though my time is tight, the better call is staying where I at. I glance left and right, I look to the front and see that traffic is starting to move...

That's when it happens!

Out of the blue a yellow car comes hurtling from the right without a hesitation, no brakes, no veering, headlong into the pickup truck in front of me. The impact of the vehicles is frightening. The collision spun the mid-size pickup into the oncoming traffic lane directly into a jeep cherokee waiting in the left hand turn lane, crushing the front end. The yellow car never slowed or showed any hint that the driver was paying any attention whatsoever. A car going 35 miles per hour into a stationary truck is a scary sight to see. Shattered glass, torn metal and chunks of plastic exploded in a literal bang, bang scenario. Three vehicles essentially totaled in a matter of a couple of seconds, happening within a few feet of my car. My prayers immediately were for all involved to safe from harm, cars can be fixed, people are much more fragile. I was and am also extremely thankful for the Lord's hand of patience holding me back from inching into the intersection and keeping me out of the area of collateral damage.

As I drove my car around the chaos, the young female driver of the yellow car was getting out, the driver of the truck also exiting his vehicle obviously shaken. More than 10 of us had our phones out dialing 911, my first two attempts got an "all circuits are busy" response. Others had gone to the drivers of each of the cars and all seemed to be in hand, I finally connected with the 911 operator who said they were aware of the accident and had dispatched police and emergency aid to the scene. I left my name and contact information with the operator and hung up.

Needless to say, I was late for my appointment my 15 minutes, but I arrived safe and with a new or maybe not necessarily new, but a refreshed perspective. Each day I am thankful to the Lord for allowing me the opportunity to experience another day. To make something positive happen in my life and that of the people who I come in contact. I know that today, if I would have been pushing to get through that intersection, I would have been the fourth car in the accident. Each of the people involved did not have "get in an car wreck" today penciled in on their calendars. The actions of one person not paying attention to what was happening around them, caused thousands of dollars of damage to property, potentially injuring multiple people and creating a situation that will be more than just an inconvenience at least three families. God willing, each person directly impacted in the crash is unharmed and free from serious injury, my prayers are with them for a quick recovery from the bumps and bruises, soreness and pain that I am sure they are feeling.

Life can change in an instant. Regardless of the intention of your schedule or the plans you have made, you never know when a yellow car will appear out of nowhere with no concern for your well being and crush your front end. We are not guaranteed anything in life, just because you started a day, there is no guarantee you will finish it.

After more than 30 years of dating my girlfriend and nearly 24 years of being married to my wonderful wife, (glad they are the same girl!) each day before we part we make sure to tell each other that we love each other and a kiss goodbye. Daily I try to make sure that my children know that dad loves them. I never want to find myself in any situation that leaves me wishing I had at the very least told my family that I love them. Love is something that must be displayed and shown to be appreciated, you can't hide your love and expect it to blossom. Love needs to be in the light, nurtured and cared for. Love takes a kind, caring hand and needs a hand to hold. Don't be afraid to express your love and let those you care for know that you love them. You never know when that yellow car will come out of nowhere!